The DBT-CBT Workbook
is now in print! 

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We welcome your suggestions for improvements
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What's on this page?

The Table of Contents for the DBT-CBT Workbook with links to actual workbook pages and other text excerpts.


FAQs and More

An Overview of the Three Mind States

Chapter 1:
The Nature of the Problem

Chapter 2:
The Big Picture
of My Life

Chapter 3:
The Pathways of Recovery

Chapter 4:

Chapter 5:
Mindfulness Is
a Skill

Rest Stop #1

Chapter 6:
Emotional Mind

Chapter 7:
Rational Mind

Chapter 8:
Challenging Negative Judgments

Chapter 9:
Wise Mind

Chapter 10:
The Wise Mind Worksheet

Chapter 11:
Distress Tolerance

Chapter 12:

Chapter 13:
Life-Enhancing Coping Skills

Chapter 14:
The Game Plan

Some Excerpts from the DBT-CBT Workbook

Why Do We Become So Overwhelmed with Our Emotions?

 What Happens if
We Act on These Intense Feelings?


The Effects of a Suicide Attempt on the Big Picture of Our Life

Teri's Life Story


The DBT-CBT workbook is dedicated to all the patients, friends, and family who have shared their stories of pain and trauma...
and healing and recovery...and have taught me infinitely more than could be learned through all the books, classes, and workshops.

Quotes from the Sample Wise Mind Worksheets

"Change is always hard, but life is full of changes.  If we don't except change, we will stagnate and suffer."

"We're toxic for each other.  I'm so miserable with him.  Really,  a bad relationship is MUCH MORE PAINFUL than no relationship!"

"I'm a nice person.  I'm loyal.  I have many good qualities that a decent man would value!  I deserve a good relationship becaue I'm good to others."

"It's hard to have a good relationship with someone who has bad relationships with everyone!"

"It'll be hard to
break-up, but...
if there's a will, there's a way. 
I CAN live
without her." 

"It's uncomfortable, but I CAN deal with being alone if

"Amanda needs a roommate.  Living together would help me through the loneliness.  She's good support, too!"

"I'll have a better relationship when 
I choose a better relationship partner!"

"All men AREN'T worthless...just the ones I keep choosing!  I keep picking men that are like my father."

"A break-up was going to happen…
sooner or later.
I knew her history. She doesn’t commit to relationships. She slept with me when she was living with someone else! What was I thinking?!!!"

"I’m not stupid, but getting with her was foolish. My picker really isn’t broken.
I didn’t pay attention to my good judgment. I knew!
I knew deep down this wouldn’t last!
I did it because it felt good at the time…
like the famous last words, “It was fun while it lasted!”

"I knew she wasn’t a good pick. To make good relationship choices, I must follow my head, not just my heart!"

"I  refuse to go backwards because of this.  My family depends on me being okay.  Relapsing, harming myself, or doing destructive things is not an option anymore."

"Even though we love each other, the smartest thing to do is to go our separate ways.  The counseling has helped, but our personalities really clash." 

"Everyone told me how difficult she was, I didn’t listen. Next time, I’ll ask folks for their opinion. If they have a bad opinion, I’ll bail and not get involved! I make such poor relationship choices on my own. I’ll stay out of a relationship until I get my relationship stuff figured out! I have to learn to THINK THROUGH BEFORE I get involved! I need to take time to find a compatible mate, one I have things in common with and one who treats people with respect!"

"It’ll be very sad to break up. I’ll have to allow time to feel better…and I’ll have to stay busy! I’ll use Life-Enhancing Coping Activities to get through this tough time."

"I knew a break-up was going to happen. We’ve had so many fights because she’s selfish. I wanted some of my needs met, too. She probably left because of the conflict and he has plenty of money to blow on her."

"I’m not stupid, but getting with her was a foolish Emotional Mind response to loneliness. I was attracted to her GOOD side and everyone warned me about her BAD side.
I should have listened!   I’m mad at myself for the upset I’ve caused myself."

"I’ve been successful in recovery for five months now. Recovery is too important to blow. Many great things are happening that
I don’t want to mess up and lose. I have no interest in doing the Cycle of Suffering again. I’m done with that existence."

"Getting aggressive would feel good, but it would land me in jail. I’d lose my job and she’d clean me out! I have no interest in losing everything again."

"I can do whatever I want. I can stay on the Recovery Path or I can relapse.
IT’S MY CHOICE and I’ve made Recovery my #1 Priority.  
I CAN work through this and talk myself out of destructive behavior with some MAJOR effort."

"I’m fixing to do something stupid over someone who isn’t worth it. I’ve got to get a grip or I’m going to lose it.
It would be too easy right now to act on Emotional Mind."

"When big stuff happens, my “screw it” mentality turns on. I really don’t want to relapse or die, I just want the hurt and anger to go away. Life’s good when I’m doing good and life gets messed up when I mess up. Drinking and OD’ing would mess things up and make my problems worse."

"Since I’m so mad and have destructive thoughts, I’ll use my Crisis Survival Plan and call my sponsor and brother. They both said, “Any time, any day.”

"I need to get a plan for dealing with this loss and getting my life back in order. Tonight, I’m going
to chill-out. Tomorrow, I’ll work on a plan of action!"

"Recovery is My #1 Priority so I need to make life-enhancing decisions. I’m not going to screw up my life over this. I’m going to use every skill I know…
and then some…
to be okay!"

"I‘ll hurt for awhile until I get things
re-organized in my life…AND while time passes. I need to stay busy so I’m not thinking TOO MUCH about this. I can get back into the hobbies I gave up for her! I’ve been itching to go back to school, too!"

"Do NOT get involved with another woman until I work out my issues and why I make bad relationship choices! Just say NO to romance for now! This is too destructive to keep on doing!"

Margin Notes

14- Irritation –
(ear-it-tay-shin) – when we’re very bothered by things.
15- Distress – (dis-stress) – stress that causes us to be upset. When we’re distressed, we’re UPSET! 16- Unresolved –
(un-ree-zolved) – not fully dealt with yet!
Why do our emotions become so overwhelming? 1. Because we’re hit
by emotions AND Emotion-Driven Thoughts. These two sources of distress feed off each other, too!
Because our current emotional state is driven by the here-and-now situation AND unresolved situations from the past. 3. Because of the number of underlying emotions. We’re not hit by just one unpleasant feeling…but sometimes 10-20 AT ONCE! Together, these three things make for a triple whammy of distress! No wonder we get so overwhelmed!   NO WONDER WE FEEL SO OUT-OF-CONTROL!
17- Upheaval –
(up-heave-ull) – when everything is all messed up and Out-of-Order! When our lives become totally messed up for awhile.
18– Agitated -
(add-juh-tay-tid) – when we’re so bothered or disturbed by something that we feel restless and emotionally pressured to do something. We’re stirred up and energized to respond.
19- Verbal and physical aggression includes temper tantrums, being verbally abusive or hostile, telling people off, and physically harming people, animals, property, and objects.
22- Jeopardized -
(jep-per-dized) - put at risk for loss or harm.
23- Our people finally “have enough.” They love us but they can’t deal with all our drama…and all the stress and heartache our drama and problems cause them. We push them to their limit and they can no longer meet or deal with our demands. TO PROTECT THE BIG PICTURE OF THEIR LIFE, they push us away.
24- Our landlord may want us out because the blood from our cuts stained the carpet.
Our family may want us out because they missed work and lost their job dealing with us, or our dad’s new wife will leave if we don’t leave, or they have migraines because of the stress, or their kids have nightmares of the blood all over or finding us and we looked dead.
25- Facilities don’t feel equipped to deal with our severe problems. They don’t want the extra work and worry, the liability and risk, or the problems and trauma our behavior caused the other residents.
26- Some folks are found unfit for their career, like EMT’s, teachers, jailers, nurses, and police.
27- Disfigurement -
(dis-figure-ment) - damage to our physical appearance.
28- Like kidney, heart, or liver damage.
29- Parasuicidal –
(pair-uh-suicidal) - suicide attempts that aren’t designed to be deadly. They’re more of a suicide gesture or a cry for help or attention.
34 - Medications!



































DBT-CBT is a life-changing recovery program that inspires people
to make the life changes that will change their lives.
This program has turned many defeated hearts into empowered spirits
that are psychologically prepared to take on the challenges of
GETTING ON and STAYING ON the Recovery Path.
Come join us in our journey.

 Welcome to the DBT-CBT
Excerpts Page!

     Here you'll find a shortened version of the Table of Contents for the Out-of-Control DBT-CBT Workbook.  The actual Table of Contents lists almost every heading and subheading in the workbook, but for the purposes of this excerpts page, some are left out.  For instance, the completed worksheets, the instructions for completing the worksheets, and all the sections that relate to one topic are not the "Applications," "Skill Builders," and "Figures" for "The Cycle of Suffering" or "The Big Picture of My Life."  So, what you see below is a short version of the Table of Contents!     

     Notice the topics below that are in the green font.  These are linked topics.  If you click on one of these, you'll be able to read that section of the workbook.  The links will take you to parts of this website that contain the workbook text or to a pdf file connected to this website. 

Notice:  All information on this website is copyright protected.    

~ Table of Contents ~


                          Recovery Requires Us…
                          Our Humanity
                          On Acceptance
                          On Recovery

Click here to view a PDF version of the "Introduction"

FAQs and More

                          What is DBT?
                          What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
                          What Is DBT-CBT?  What Is This Program All About?
                          How Was DBT-CBT Developed?
                          The Six Major Problem Areas Addressed by DBT-CBT?
                          How Is This Program to Be Delivered?
                          Words of Warning
                          What Are Some Goals of This Study?
                          Saving Face: DBT-CBT in Action

An Overview of the Three Mind States

Click here to view a PDF version of
"An Overview of the Three Mind States"

An Overview of the DBT-CBT Process and the
Pathways of Recovery and Relapse

How Bad Do I Really Want Recovery?

Section One
The Cycle of Suffering:
“Why Is My Life So Out-of-Control?”

Chapter 1: The Nature of the Problem

Figure 1.A:    The Two Parts of Emotional Mind
Figure 1.B:     A List of Negative Emotions
Application:   Why Do We Become So Overwhelmed with Our Emotions?
Application:   What Happens if We Act on These Intense Emotions?
Figure 1.C:     A List of Common Self-Destructive Coping Behaviors
Application:   “The Cycle of Suffering”
                          “The Tragedy of the Problem”
Figure 1.F:      The Cycle of Suffering in My Life Worksheet (Completed)
Skill Builder:   Using “The Cycle of Suffering in My Life Worksheet”
                           *Chapter Review & For Reflection
*Figure 1.H:    The Concepts and Skills Tracking Sheet – Chapter 1
*(These two sections are at the end of each chapter and will not be listed below for each chapter.)

Chapter 2: The Big Picture of My Life

Skill Builder:   “The Big Picture of My Life Worksheet”
Figure 2.B:      The Cherished Parts in the Big Picture of My Life
                           The Purpose of “The Big Picture of My Life Worksheet”
Application:    How Emotion-Driven Behaviors Affect the Big Picture of                            Our Life
                           The Impact of “Drinking Again” on the Big Picture of
                           Our Life
                           The Effects of an Affair on the Big Picture of Our Life
                           The Effects of Going into Rehab or a Psychiatric Hospital
                           The Effects of a Suicide Attempt on the Big Picture of
                               Our Life
Application:    When We Over-Respond to One Part of Our Life,
                           the Effect on Other Parts Can Be Tragic
Application:   Teri’s Life Story
Skill Builder:  Teri’s “The Big Picture of My Life Worksheet”
Skill Builder:  The Impact of Self-Destructive Behavior on Teri’s Life Application:   Teri’s Story: A Story of Real Life
                          There’s No Other Way Out
Application:   The Importance of “The Big Picture of My Life”
Skill Builder:  Drilling It into Our Mind

Chapter 3: The Pathways of Recovery

                           Why Try? Nothing Ever Changes
                           The Truth Behind the Lies
Application:   A Walk Through the Pathways of Recovery
Figure 3.A:     The Pathways of Recovery
                           From Treatment to Pavement…Hitting the Road to                                Recovery
                           The Truth About the Lies
                           When a Boulder Lands on Our Recovery Path
                           To Flee or Not to Flee
                           What’s That Major Downer at Point D?
                           The Truth…Life Got Better Until We Relapsed
                           The Truth…Things Get Bad Again Because We Make a                             Bad Choice
                           A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
                           The Recovery Path Is a Rocky Road
Application:    Why Bad Things Happen to Good People
Application:   The Least We Can Do…Should Be the Most That's                                  Expected
Application:    A Partial Relapse?
Application:    A Successful Failure?
                           If We’re Contemplating if We Can Safely Relapse, We’ve                              Already Relapsed

Chapter 4: Mindfully Protecting My Peace and Stability

Application:   Using Mindfulness of the Big Picture of Our Life to Talk                                  Ourselves Through a Difficult Situation
                           “Dan’s Story”
Skill Builder:  Using Mindfulness in the Heat-of-the-Moment
Figure 4.A:     “Dan’s Story” Worked Out
Application:   Normal Mindlessness?
Skill Builder:  Mindfully Prioritizing the Must Do’s
Application:   When We’re Not Minding Our Emotions
Application:  When We Keep Hurting Ourselves…Mindlessly
Skill Builder: Turning On Mindfulness to Turn Off Mindless Rumination
Application:  Mindlessly Allowing Ourselves to Get All Stirred Up
                          The Joiner
                          The Fixer
                          The Complainer’s Ear
                          The Dance Partner
Application:    Which Type Are You?
Application:    The Infant Analogy
Skill Builder:  “The Mindfully Protecting My Peace and Stability
Figure 4.C:      Examples of Things in Our Inner Circle
Figure 4.D:      Examples of Things Coming At Us
Application:   The Purpose of “The Mindfully Protecting My Peace and
                           Stability Worksheet”
Skill Builder:   Dealing With the Things Coming At Us
Application:    The Upsetting Phone Calls and Visits
Skill Builder:  Managing the Upsetting Phone Calls and Visits
Skill Builder:   How to Mindfully Protecting Our Peace and Stability

Chapter 5: Mindfulness Is a Skill

                          Learning Skills:  From Mindful to Mindless Application
                          When the Automatic Process Goes Awry
                          Getting Control of Our Out-of-Control Emotion-Driven
Skill Builder:  An All Day Daily Devotional
Application:   From the Old to the New and Back Again
Skill Builder:  Catch Relapse in the Making
                          Observing and Describing
Skill Builder:  Don’t Let It Get You Down
Skill Builder:  Mindfully Talking Ourselves Down and Refocusing
Skill Builder:  Putting an End to a Conversation
Skill Builder:  Observing Our Body
Skill Builder:  Mindfully Observing Our Thoughts
                           “The Next Two Thoughts”
                           “The Conveyer Belt”
                           “ Put It on a Cloud”
                           Other Imagery Options
                           Tips for Observing
                           Using Imagery as a Coping Tool
                           Mindfully Describing Our Observations
Skill Builder:  Opinions Vs. Facts
                          Tips for Describing
                          Another Mindfulness Skill: Being Nonjudgmental
Application:   Love at First Sight or Blinded by Love
Application:   She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not
Application:   One Bad Apple Doesn’t Spoil the Bunch
Application:   “Inappropriate” Thoughts and Feelings
Skill Builder:  One-Mindedness and Turning Our Mind
Skill Builder:  A One-Minded Solution for Chronic Worriers
Application:   Being One-Minded About Recovery

Rest Stop #1

Road Map:  Where We've Been...What Ground We've Covered Road Map:  Where Do We Go From Here?
Road Map:  How Do We Get There from Here? 
                       How the Three Mind States are Similar to Other Theories

Section Two
The Three States of Mind:
“How Do I Get Control of My Life?”

Chapter 6: Emotional Mind

Skill Builder:  The Raw Emotions of Emotional Mind
Skill Builder:  The Depth and Breadth of Our Emotions
Application:   “Getting Into” a Sad Movie
Application:   Revisiting the Drama Queen
Application:   The Shop-a-Holic
Application:   Blinded by Love
Application:   Losing Our Temper
Application:   Crash n’ Burn Dieting
Application:   Having a Panic Attack
Application:   When Help Is Destructive
                          The Adaptive Nature of Emotional Mind
Skill Builder:  About Emotion-Driven Thoughts
Application:   The Abusive Lies We Come to Believe
Application:   Out-of-Control Emotion-Driven Thinking
Skill Builder:  Managing Rumination
Application:   What Turns On Emotional Mind
Skill Builder:  Requesting Time-Out

Chapter 7: Rational Mind

                          The Purpose of Rational Mind
Application:   The Meeting of the Minds
                          Pete’s Story
Skill Builder:  Pete’s State of Mind
Skill Builder:  How to Get Control Once We’ve Lost Control
Skill Builder:  Cutting Always Helps
Skill Builder:  Just One Drink Doesn’t Matter
Skill Builder:  I Can’t Deal With This
Skill Builder:  I Can’t Stand to Be Alone
Skill Builder:  A Bad Relationship Is Better than No Relationship
Skill Builder:  I Don’t Deserve Any Better than This
Skill Builder:  I’m So Fat, No One Would Want Me
Skill Builder:  I’d Kill Her if I Had the Chance
Skill Builder:  I’ll Show Them…They’ll Be Sorry
Skill Builder:  Failing to Succeed…or Successful Failures
Skill Builder:  My Family Would Be Better Off Without Me
Application:   The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth
Skill Builder:  Challenging My Emotion-Driven Thoughts
Application:   When a Warped Thought Is Normal
Application:   Red Flags for Irrational Statements
Application:   When It’s Hard to Think Straight

Chapter 8: Challenging Extreme Judgments

Application:   How Extreme Judgments Backfire and Ignite the Situation
Skill Builder:  Extinguishing Extreme Judgments
Skill Builder:  When We Apply Extreme Labels to Ourselves
Application:   Challenging Negative Judgments About Me
Skill Builder:  “The Challenging Negative Judgments About Me
                          My Story…Challenging a Negative Judgment of Me
Figure 8.A:     The Challenging Negative Judgments About Me   
Application:   The Origin of the Judgmental Lies
Application:   Stupid Is as Stupid Does?
Skill Builder:  Using Our Smarts to “Dis” Dysregulation

Chapter 9: Wise Mind

                          The Basics of Wise Mind
Skill Builder:  How to Bring On Wise Mind and Live Effectively
Skill Builder:  Tips for Participating Wisely and Effectively
                           Ancient Wisdom
                           “The Well Analogy of Wise Mind”
Skill Builder:  Talking Ourselves into Wise Mind Behavior
Skill Builder:  Drew Got Dumped…Talking Our Way Through It
Skill Builder:  From One Level to the Next…Going Deep to Reach Wise
Application:   Just Say “Yes” to “Just Say No”
Application:   Wisdom Lies Deep Within Us All
Skill Builder:  “The Well Analogy Worksheet”

Chapter 10: The Wise Mind Worksheet

                          The Wise Mind Worksheet: Just an Example (We’re Toxic
                          for Each Other)
Skill Builder:  Completing Drew’s Wise Mind Worksheet
Figure 10.B:   Drew Got Dumped – Short Version
Skill Builder:  More on Challenging Emotion-Driven Thoughts
                         The Long Version of “Drew Got Dumped”
Skill Builder:  How Drew Maintained Self-Control
Skill Builder:  Four More Wise Mind Worksheets
Figure 10.G:   Having to Start Over
Figure 10.H:   Have Bipolar - Must Quit Drugs and Alcohol
Figure 10.I:     Must Stop Smoking
Figure 10.J:   Can’t Keep a Job
Skill Builder:  Completing Your Own Wise Mind Worksheet
                          Should I Follow My Head or My Heart?
Application:   When Our Emotions “Have Done Gone Crazy”
Application:   There’s an Order to Things
Application:   The Good Counselor
Application:   Listen to the Voice of Wisdom

Rest Stop #2

Section Three
Tolerating and Coping with Distress: 
“How Do I Stay in Control?”

Chapter 11: Distress Tolerance

                          Leaning Into the Painful Situation
Application:   To Be Human Is to Suffer Loss
Application:   Major Distressors and Everyday Distressors
                          What is Distress Tolerance?
                           Pain and Suffering
Application:   To Grieve or to Be Grieved
Application:   We Grieve Many Types of Losses
Application:   Suffering Is a Triple Whammy of Pain and Distress
Application:   Problem Defined, Now What?
Application:   The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Change
Application:   Hurry Up and Wait!
Application:   Once is Not Enough
Application:   Accepting the Pain and Distress of Recovery
Application:   A Painful Plan
Application:   Changing Our Attitude About Emotional Surgery
Application:   Dying from a Broken Heart…When the Pain Is Killing Us

Chapter 12: Acceptance

                          Some Acceptance Statements for Recovery
                          Basic Principles of Accepting Reality
Application:   Acceptance of the Bad, Horrible, Rotten Things We’ve
Skill Builder:  The Art of Reframing
                           Acceptance Doesn’t Require Giving Up on Something
Skill Builder:  The “I Can’t Win Them Over” Situation
Skill Builder:  Radical Acceptance and the Hurtful Phone Calls
Application:   Radical Acceptance of Serious Life Consequences
                          Fighting Reality – Radical Non-Acceptance
Skill Builder:  Peace Comes by Accepting the Unacceptable
Skill Builder:  Radical Acceptance of Complicated Life Situations
Skill Builder:  Turning Our Mind to Acceptance
Application:   The Baseball Analogy of Life…We’re Always at the Plate
Application:   It All Comes down to Our Will: Willingness vs. Willfulness

Chapter 13: Life-Enhancing Coping Skills

                           Hmmmm…Which Do I Choose?
Figure 13.A:   The Levels of Emotion Chart
Application:   How Coping Mechanisms Reduce Negative Emotion
Figure 13.B:   “The Emotional Thermometer”
Application:   To Eliminate or to Reduce
Application:   Hurry Up! I Can’t Stand This Any Longer
Application:   The Tried N’ True or the Iffy N’ New
Application:   The Long and the Short of It
Application:   A One-Shot Deal…I’ll Drink to That!
Application:   A Time of Reckless Abandon…or a Time to Abandon the
                           Remember These Truths…
Application:   How to Get Hooked on Normal Life
Application:   How Do “Normal” People Do It?
Application:   The Destructive Coping Behaviors of Normal People
Application:   The Not So Normal “Normal Appearing People”
                           How to Build a Normal Lifestyle
Skill Builder:  “The Life-Enhancing Coping Activities Worksheet”
Skill Builder:  “The Activity Calendar”
Skill Builder:  Planning Our Day and Week
Figure 13.G:   The Weekly Calendar
Skill Builder:  Using Distress Buffers to Mindfully Protect Our Peace and
Figure 13.I:     How I’ll Mindfully Protect My Peace and Stability

Chapter 14: The Game Plan

                         The Structure of a Game Plan
Figure 14.B:   A Typical Game Plan
                          There’s More to It than JUST Action Steps
Application:   How Can I Get Out of Doing This?
Application:   The Hardest Part of Our Recovery Plan
Skill Builder:  Setting Up a Game Plan
Figure 14.C:   The Game Plan
Skill Builder:  The Game Plan Tracking Sheets

The Final Rest Stop

                           Road Map:  Where We've Been...What Ground We've                             Covered
                           Our Souvenirs and Snapshots: A Time to Remember
                           Where Do We Go from Here? Where Is This Road


Some Excerpts From the "Out-of-Control"
DBT-CBT Workbook

The following excerpts are linked from the Table of Contents above.

The small numbers in the yellow highlight below are "footnotes" that relate to
the text in the yellow margin on this page. 
Click hete to go to that section called "Margin Notes"

APPLICATION: Why Do We Become So Overwhelmed
with Our Emotions?

     One reason is that we’re experiencing TWO SOURCES OF IRRITATION14 AT ONCE!   When we’re in an emotional state, we’re HIT BY RAW EMOTIONS AND EMOTION-DRIVEN THOUGHTS.   That’s double the distress!15 THEY FEED OFF EACH OTHER, TOO!   For instance, the more depressed we become, the more hopeless and depressing our thoughts become.   As our mind fills with depressing and hopeless thoughts, WE FEEL MORE DEPRESSED AND HOPELESS!   This works the same for other emotions.   Consider how anger and jealousy build up.   The more we think about what happened, the angrier we get. The angrier we get, the more our angry thoughts intensify and rage through our mind…AND the madder and more jealous we become.   Our angry feelings and thoughts feed off each other and become more and more intense…UNTIL WE GET CONTROL OR WE BLOW!
      To make things even more challenging, when we’re in an emotional state, we’re NOT ONLY dealing with here-and-now stuff, but WE’RE ALSO HIT BY UNRESOLVED16 EMOTIONS and SITUATIONS FROM THE PAST that are brought up by the current situation.   That makes things even worse! 
     FURTHER, when we’re upset, we experience MANY EMOTIONS AT ONCE.   For instance, if we’re going through a break-up, we tend to feel depressed and angry.   Right?   Well, what about feeling lonely, lost, betrayed, anxious, worried, rejected, empty, abandoned, mistrusting, suspicious, frustrated, and overwhelmed!   We’re often FULL OF EMOTIONS when we’re going through a difficult time.   Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by our emotions that we’re in a state of emotional upheaval.17  We CAN’T THINK STRAIGHT.   We may not even know how we’re feeling.   We may feel like we’re going to FALL APART or EXPLODE.   We’re SO FULL OF FEELINGS that our MIND IS RACING…thoughts are FLYING THROUGH OUR HEAD.     We’re so AGITATED,18 so FULL, so PRESSURED, and SO DESPERATE FOR RELIEF.

APPLICATION:  What Happens if We Act on These Intense Feelings?

What do you think happens when we allow Emotional Mind to control or drive our behavior when we’re upset?   What is our behavior like?   What are we likely to do?   ___________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ When we’re filled with difficult emotions, we often act on them through Emotional Mind. We’re desperate for relief so we do things that provide IMMEDIATE RELIEF. We often do the things that have worked for us in the past. Some of our “favorite” or most preferred coping responses include drugs and alcohol; suicide attempts, gestures, and threats; cutting ourselves; overtaking medication; walking off and abandoning the situation; withdrawal; and verbal and physical aggression.19 What other types of Self-Destructive Coping Behaviors can you think of? _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ See Figure 1.C for “A List of Common Self-Destructive Coping Behaviors.”

~~~~~~~~ CHAPTER REVIEW ~~~~~~~

1.   What are the two parts of Emotional Mind? ________________ _______________________________________________________ 2.   What are Emotion-Driven Thoughts?   Describe what they are rather than just giving examples. ___________________________ _______________________________________________________ 3.   List some Destructive Emotion-Driven Thoughts you have when you’re upset. _______________________________________ _______________________________________________________
4.   What are three reasons why our emotions can become so overwhelming? __________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________ 5.   What are Emotion-Driven Coping Responses?  Describe what they are rather than giving examples of specific ones.   ________  _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________  _______________________________________________________ 6.   Are Emotion-Driven Coping Responses the same thing as Self-Defeating Coping Responses and Emotion-Driven Coping Mechanisms? YES / NO
7.   List eight types of Self-Destructive Coping Behaviors.
1. ___________________________ 2. ________________________ 3. ___________________________ 4. ________________________ 5. ___________________________ 6. ________________________ 7. ___________________________ 8. ________________________ 8. Describe the Nature of the Problem in your own words.   _____
_______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 9.   Describe the Cycle of Suffering in your own words. _________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 10.   What are the five parts of the first cycle in the Cycle of Suffering?
1. _____________________________________________________ 2. _____________________________________________________ 3. _____________________________________________________ 4. _____________________________________________________ 5. _____________________________________________________ 11.   What’s my hope for you?   What’s the purpose behind this workbook? _____________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 12. What’s YOUR hope for this study? _______________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________

The Effects of a Suicide Attempt on the Big Picture of Our Life

As mentioned, many folks wind up in the hospital because of a suicide attempt, be it by overdosing, cutting, hanging, gunshot, or other means.   Consider how this Self-Destructive Coping Response affects the Big Picture of Our Life.   Turn back to “The Cherished Parts in the Big Picture of Our Life”  (Figure 2.B)  and mark the areas that are likely to be seriously affected or jeopardized22 by suicidal behavior.   If a suicide attempt is due to relationship problems, our relationship may be seriously jeopardized or lost.  If suicide attempts are frequent and especially if they’re just one type of Emotion-Driven Coping Behavior we do, many of our relationships may be impacted and our people may pull away from us.23   We may also lose housing because of the trauma, drama, and heartache a suicide attempt causes the people we live with.24   We may lose the privilege of staying in special housing programs (halfway houses, group homes, rehabs) for similar reasons.25   We may lose jobs and careers.26 We may cause our bodies physical damage from scarring or disfigurement27 and damage to our brain, organs, and nerves.28   All in all, the losses and problems caused by suicidal and parasuicidal29 behaviors are similar to those caused by substance abuse and being hospitalized or in rehab.   Most, if not all, the areas listed in the chart would be affected, especially when suicide attempts and gestures occur frequently.

Teri's Life Story

     Teri has Bipolar Disorder and a substance abuse problem. She is on probation for a DWI and possession of cocaine. She is bright, has worked as a LVN, and has tried many times to complete an RN program. Something Always Happens and she has to drop her courses. Her LVN license has been suspended due to legal problems. She has had many jobs. She loses jobs due to using too much sick time or not showing up for work. Her family is angry with her for all the trouble and heartache she has put them through. They have tried to help her many times, but she continues to have more and more problems. THEIR HELP ISN’T HELPING…IT HAS NO LASTING EFFECT. Their phone calls and visits are filled with conflict. She is often broke and asks friends and family for money to pay for food, medical care, rent, etc.
      She’s twice divorced and has two kids. One is with the father, the other is in foster care. She is behind on child support and cannot see her child until she catches up. She chooses abusive men. She is abusive to the men, too. She “can’t stand to be alone” and jumps from one relationship to another. She had a difficult childhood. Her father left when she was two. Her mother drank and was physically and emotionally abusive. She thinks her mother is Bipolar. She was molested by an uncle until age 12 and was raped by a boyfriend at age 20.
     She believes in God and attends church when she is clean and living a Recovery Lifestyle. She’s been through many rehab programs and has been hospitalized several times for mania, depression, and suicidal behavior. After treatment, she does well for 3-6 months. However, Something Always Happens and she returns to drugs and alcohol, stops her Bipolar meds,34 has a relationship blow-up, and overdoses or cuts herself. This cycle generally ends with hospitalization or another rehab stay.